The minister said “Ass”…

Mr M and I have opted for a religious ceremony in my church which is also where my Mum and Dad got married in 1977.

Neither of us are particularly religious but as I mentioned earlier Mr M is a traditionalist and I personally couldn’t imagine myself getting married anywhere but in church.

Most Presbyterian ministers are very very strict in their views and I’ve known lots of couples who have been refused permission to marry in the church and have babies baptised, so I was prepared for an interrogation on our religious views, our living arrangements (and hence sleeping arrangements) and our enrolment in a pre-marriage course.

Traditionally you meet with your minister at the Manse to discuss these issues and so after putting off the phone call, I built up the courage to contact my minister to arrange a meeting with him. Unexpectedly, he quite casually said “Some day after Church will do”. I couldn’t believe it!

We met with him on Sunday after service (when there was a baby’s baptism and I got very emotional) and were so surprised by his laid-back and down to earth attitude. We felt very much at ease with him, although I already knew he was a lovely, friendly man I hadn’t needed his services personally before. We talked through what we would like and he told us what was normal practice. He told us what other couples had done and then said “But they did things ass about face”.

Ass about face! I almost choked!

We came away looking forward to having him marry us – a man who we could be relaxed with and happily share that special moment with.

Planning for Baby M...

About 6 weeks after Mr M and I started dating we talked about marriage. I think we both knew right from the start that that was where it was heading. I had learnt from all my past relationships what the good and the bad things were to have in relationships and he had all the good ones.

And so we coasted along knowing that it was going to happen, it was just a matter of when. The when became more of an issue when we both realised we were in our 30s and we needed to get a move on. Mr M really felt broody and longed for kiddies but we both wanted to be married before we opened that chapter.

When Mr M popped the question the plan was that we wouldn’t have a very long engagement, the waiting had been done, and we wanted the babies quickly.

There has been many a joke and comment that we will be having a honeymoon baby and Mr M encouraged it!

Now that money is tight and we’ve had to take a loan to cover some of the cost of the wedding, it’s looking like we might have to postpone the baby making. (And that’s assuming that all would go smoothly anyway.)

It seems very ironic that the one thing we needed in order to have babies – marriage – is now going to make us have to wait for them.

In the words of Simply Red, money's too tight to mention...

We are now faced with the realisation that in the words of Simply Red, money's too tight to mention. With only a few things left to organise I am now re-evaluating what is really important and what we can get rid of. Otherwise there will have to be a postponement. And I really don't want that.

So... cake.

In the beginning I didn't even want a cake - all that cake-cutting palaver seemed a bit of a nonsense to me and besides I don't even really like cake, but Mr M is a traditionalist (this is something new I learned about him through the planning process) and insisted it did indeed have to be cut. We decided to get the cheapest cake we could get as long as there was one there, but then the old mentality of "if you are going to do it, do it right" came into play and all of a sudden I'm off having tasting sessions and commissioning sketches of bespoke cakes with very un-Irish double layers, like this...

which I just love. (credit unknown - if anyone knows, please let me know)

I went to see Julie and Linsey at the Vanilla Cake Company and had such great fun I forgot I was potentially spending money. And the samples I requested (when I say samples, I mean huge whole cupcakes) were to die for - Zingy Lemon, White Chocolate and Raspberry and Chocolate Fudge Cake. I actually came away wishing I was their real life friend.

A few weeks later the sketches and prices came through and I got a bit excited. These girls really "got me", we were on the same page and it felt good.

(courtesy of Vanilla Cake Company)

The problem is that now I'm having to prioritise the spending, I'm faced with the possibility that I might not get any of these dream cakes. While they are by no means expensive in the grand scheme of wedding spending, and believe me I have seen less cake for a lot more £££, I have to ask myself, given I didn't want a cake in the first place, whether to just go for a Marks and Spencer cake which can also look great but isn't all that creative.

(photo credit)

Any advice to offer a poor bride?

I think I'm in love...

I think I'm in love with our wedding stationery. Can you be in love with stationery?

I've spent the last few days designing and making our guestbook which will be made up of 4x6 cards guests can write on with little prompts in case the mind goes blank, which can be slotted into a photo album and this will be filled out with photos of the day.

I've guillotined like a ninja and printed the cards and really, I just can't stop looking at them.

Here's a little sneak peek...

In other news...

Please tell me not to freak out when the new girlfriend of one of your hubby to be's groomsmen comes up to you at a party and announces "I'm going to your wedding".

You may have already noted from this blog that I am the type to do the opposite of what I am told so there could be trouble if she keeps this up.

Yes, in all likelihood they will be together at the time and of course, she will be invited if that is the case. But please, should you not politely just not mention it until the bride or groom does, and then you can gush about how pleased you are?

Please tell me not to freak out...

My response to her "Are you indeed?". Catty or not, I don't even think she noticed!

The flower girls...

Choosing the flower girl dresses had been put off until recently due to the fact that one is 4 years and the other 6. And kids tend to grow.

I happened to notice a beauty of a dress in Debenhams a few months before Christmas but knew it was much to early to guess what size they would be in April, so left it behind. It was different to the others - soft, floaty and designer.

As luck would have it when I went back after Christmas, the dresses were in the sale. Bingo! When I say dresses, there was only one but the other is on order and fingers crossed there won't be any problems with this.

So we had a fashion show with the girls.

We had the chat on the way to my mum's house for the big try-on about what a secret was and what they were to tell "people" when they asked what the dresses looked like. They loved the fact that we all had a special secret and told me they would say "I don't know" to everything they were asked! They had to be warned especially about Aunty Jennifer who didn't seem to understand the whole "the dresses are a surprise"-thing and was actually rather upset that I wouldn't allow her to see them in advance.

The girls done exactly what all flower girls do - what I did myself when I was one - hold out their dress and twirl. They couldn't stop swishing them about and it was so sweet.

So that's another thing crossed off the list and I'm so glad I decided to let Mr M's two nieces do this job for us.

Famous last words eh? I'm sure on the day they'll be less angelic and will be running wild, jumping in puddles with chocolate dropped down the front of them.

photo with permission of the fabulously talented Janine Walker